Blessings in Disguise

I left Alaska and arrived in Mississppi late last Monday night, eager to spend some time with my husband and catch up on sleep! And the first day was precisely that! I slept in, read, made a delicious dinner for Dan, cuddled with him a LOT, and even spent some time at the beach! It was great!

 

 

But on Wednesday I got a phone call that kind of turned everything around. My mom had called to tell me that my great uncle, who had been in the hospital recovering from a heart attack, had passed away. None of us expected it. He has been doing so much better! I was shocked. And Mom took it hard. Uncle Louie had been like a father to her; stepping in when her own dad walked out. He was a selfless, loving man who was eager to open his heart up and let you find a special place there. You never once doubted his love or pride in you. It just wasn't possible. Dan and I made arrangements that night for me to fly to Oklahoma for the funeral. I knew I needed to be there to honor my uncle. To take care of my little brother so Mom could grieve in whatever way she needed to. To help make food for the weekend and after the funeral, so everyone else could focus on other things. And to just be there with my family, bearing the weight of the loss together.

As I traveled on Saturday, I had all of the typical expectations that accompany a  funeral. But I walked away with so much more than that. When my Mom picked me up from the airport hugging her felt like home, and I think she would agree. She is so strong, a fighter in so many ways. And all I wanted to do for her was be someone who she didn't have to be strong for; to let her just be. I hope I was able to do that.

Before we went over to my aunt's house that night Mom told me I was going to be asked to read a letter I had written to my uncle at his funeral. I didn't know what to say; but she was right. Sure enough that night Aunt Gloria told me how much the letter had meant to her and Uncle Louie, and that it summed up who he was so well--it would mean so much to her if I read it to everyone. I agreed, outwardly excited but in my heart there was hesiation. Its not that I didn't want to share my letter; I just didn't know if I would be able to do it without crying in front of everyone.

The weekend moved so quickly, but it was filled with sweet moments remembering Uncle Louie. I loved getting to hear all of the ways he had impacted so many people. I knew how important he had been to my family, but the privilege of hearing how he had been such a guiding light to my cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends was one I will never forget. He loved with his whole heart and everyone there felt it. And we laughed together, thinking about all of the silly things Uncle Louie used to say and do. (I'm thankful no one brought out the tape of him and me singing "Achy Breaky Heart" from when I was 4.)

 I was also able to make some fun new memories with my little brother. In fact, Chase and I stayed up later than  our parents one night, wrestling and teasing--stealing each others pillows and blankets. I love him so much.

But some of my favorite moments were with my dad. I got to witness the tenderness with which he loves and cares for my mom, as well as ways they look out for each other. He got up every morning to go buy her coffee at a gas station down the street, becasue she doesn't drink it black. And he checked on her, always offering the comfort of his presence. He and Mom showed me all of the places they used to hang out or that meant something to them. I saw the houses they grew up in, the schools they went to. And he took us to see his dad's grave, because I had never seen it and he wanted me to. My dad's job requires him to move around a lot, so for most of my time in high school and all of college he was away. And I forgot how he communicates and expresses things. He isn't a man of many words. And when he does say something its to get a laugh. But over the weekend I was able to see just how much he loves our family, and how proud he is of me without him ever saying it. We stayed up late my first night, with him just asking me about my and Dan's plans for the future, how my job was...asking specific questions about what I do and how I do it, even though he has no interest in church and I work at one. And the picture on the background of his Ipad is from my wedding, of the two of us with Mom. It seems simple, but my time with him was really special.

The funeral was beautiful; I think it honored my uncle well. And I'm glad I got to be a part of it. I did get choked up when I read the letter, but so did everyone else, and it was ok. It was good for us to cry together. I think Uncle Louie would have been proud and that's all any of us wanted.

I also got a phone call over the weekend from my friend, Cameron, in Alaska. Apparently our car had gotten broken into sometime after I left. I couldn't take care of anything from OK, so I asked him to call Dan. I later found out that Cam had filed a police report for us, brought the car to another friend's house, who had offered to keep it in their garage until the window could get fixed, and took care of details with Dan. By Tuesday the window was fixed and Cam had brought it to my boss's house where it can stay safely until Dan and I return from MS. I'm blown away by their kindness. We've only lived in AK for 6 months and we already have friends who have gone above and beyond to take care of us while we're away!

So this past weekend, while filled with bad news, was actually full of blessings! I'll always miss my Uncle Louis, but I'm so thankful for my family, and for my time with them. And I can't begin to express my gratitude and love for my friends in AK. I am truly humbled by the love I've witnessed and experienced this weekend.