All the feels

It's a dreary, rainy day, and I'm feeling all the things. ALL of them. I don't want to feel them all. I don't want to feel any of them. But alas, they are there. So what's to be done?

Option 1: Find a comfy sweater, jeans, and slippers. Top it off with a cute scarf. (I don't want to look like a total bum here.) Light a bunch of candles. Turn on the fireplace. Cuddle up with my puppy and marathon something on Netflix. Chuck to be exact. (Decent Choice--comfortable, who doesn't love comfort?)

Option 2: Think about the feelings. Journal about the feelings. Process the feelings. Ugh. Feelings, feelings, feelings. (This is my least favorite option. Can you tell? Hard work. Potential pain. Possible tears. Count. Me. Out.)

Option 3: Bed. Go directly to bed. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Go to bed. Hide under the blankets. Do not come out again until the feelings are gone. (Obviously the best option. Revolt against the feelings! Who's with me?!)

It's pretty clear that option 3 is the most desirable option. It's the easiest. Safest. There's no risk at all, and as an added bonus, it's warm! Yay blankets! However, it's stagnant. It leaves no room for growth. C. S. Lewis describes something like this well: 

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Dang, Mr. Lewis. I hate it when you're right. Safe actually comes with too many risks--an unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable heart. Not worth it. All right, scratch option 3. 

I'm still not liking option 2 very much. It sounds hard. So we're scratching that one too.

But option 1 is too easy...too comfortable. Can anyone really grow when they are comfortable, unchallenged, secure? I think option 1 leads to a life of blissful ignorance. And, to be honest, that's not really what I'm looking for. Scratch option 1 too.

So we're still left with all the feelings and 3 scratched options. I think the feelings are pretty unavoidable. They're still there, bubbling and mulling: creating new trains of thought. Dang. I wish they'd stop, but I'm motivated by this desire for true healing. The kind Jesus offers.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10

Fullness of life requires authentic healing. Which means...I have to feel the feels; not exactly on my list of favorite things. So how can we make this easier?

FINAL Option: Find a comfy sweater, jeans, and slippers. Top it off with a cute scarf. (I don't want to look like a total bum here.) Light a bunch of candles. Turn on the fireplace. Grab the journal. Start processing the feelings. It will be okay. The blow will be softened by the candles, cute scarf, and comfy sweater. 

And so my journey begins...